Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
