trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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