do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
