escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
