If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
