I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
