What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
