so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
