pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
