Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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