Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
