I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
