walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
