So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
where are you?
Hypothermia
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
