I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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