I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize