Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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