just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
