A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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