chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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