Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
