I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
