hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
