I just threw up on my dentist
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
