and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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