and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize