sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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