this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
