There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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