was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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