i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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