there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
