You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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