I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
