My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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