and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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