Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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