Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
