it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
