dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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