We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
