this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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