even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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