Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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