I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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