Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
