i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize