Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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