I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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