Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
