Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
