Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
