He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize