if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
