If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
