YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
