Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
