My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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