i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
