how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize