it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
