The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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