Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
send nudes
from the living room?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
